Perfect, Creamy, Velvety, Scrambled Eggs

Perfect, Creamy, Velvety, Scrambled Eggs

My sister likes her scrambled eggs rubbery, almost crunchy. My dad said we were adopted…but seriously…hard?  Gross. Maybe I was born in the south and never knew it, maybe I was fed powdery, rubbery, firm scrambled eggs to much as a kid that once I tasted gooey, creamy, velvety scrambled eggs I never went back.

My mom taught me to make eggs with three things that I have come to figure out are totally incorrect. First, she used a whisk. Second, she would not add salt because in the 80s it was considered unhealthy. Third, she taught me to add a glug of milk.  As much as I love my mother…she was dead wrong.

Velvety, creamy, almost liquidy perfect scrambled eggs require no whisk, but a fork. It is ABSOLUTELY imperative you put in a pinch of either kosher or sea salt. And DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT add any milk or water.  Beat the *&%$ out of the eggs with your fork. This will give the eggs the needed oxygen to aerate and take on that velvety and airy-like texture.

Scrambled eggs can feed you, your wife, your mom, your girlfriend and your kids and will consistently put a smile on their face wider than the Columbia River is long. Promise me, as you pass into this portion of your manhood, you good boy, you will at least learn this basic technique…if you don’t you will go hungry when you are in college or poor, and you will stink as a dad. Period.

Perfect, Creamy, Velvety, Scrambled Eggs


  • 3 Eggs (per serving)
  • pinch of Kosher salt
  • pad of butter


  1. Heat up your favorite frying pan to medium heat. Once hot, drop in your butter.
  2. Meanwhile, drop your eggs into a bowl. Drop in your pinch of salt and beat with you fork in a circular motion from bottom to top to get lots of air into the eggs, approximately 90 seconds (or more).
  3. Pour eggs into the hot, buttery frying pan.
  4. Take a wooden spoon and pull the eggs that firm up from the sides to the middle. By "stirring" your eggs, you will keep the creaminess, not let the eggs bunch up, and will cook evenly. Keep pulling eggs away from side and push your eggs around, making sure to get the "runny" eggs cooked up.
  5. I pull my eggs from the heat when they are still a touch runny, as they will keep cooking the hot pan. Pour onto plate and add your favorite fresh herb, cheese, pepper, hot sauce etc.
  6. Picture in this post has fresh micro chives from my pot growing on the porch.


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